Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Learn to be an artist in one day

Ever looked at the Mona Lisa and thought 'I wish I could do that'?  Ever looked at the Turner Prize and thought 'How do they do that?'.  For too long art has been thought of as something that you need training for, something that requires rigour, experience and actual talent to achieve.  But no longer.

I am now offering people the chance to learn to be an artist in a single day.  As part of this course you will
  1. Take a urinal off a wall - and it will be art
  2. Throw paint randomly at a canvas - and it will be art
  3. Fill a cast of Rodin's 'The Thinker' with molten bronze - and it will be art(*)
  4. Trace around famous pencil drawings - and it will be art
At the end of this one day course you will be a fully fledged artist and understand all the principles behind art and be able to declare yourself an artist.  I firmly believe being an artist is not just for people with talent, experience and training, its for anyone who pays me money to do basic copy work where I can wrap enough crap around it to convince them they've actually achieved something.

At the end of just one day you will understand what it takes to be an artist, you will realise that being an artist is something that is actually fundamentally easy and all those old masters were actually just regular people like you.  There is nothing else that you need to learn to be able to say that you understand what it takes to be an artist.  YOU will be able to look at the Sistine chapel roof and say 'I know exactly what it takes to do that.

* additional fee applies

(in homage to decoded)

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